just your usual mopey, incoherent post.

My sister Anna's going back to the Philippines tomorrow. I still can't imagine how it would be like not being able to see her everyday. Cause you know, in our little Vasquez fantasy world, we'd be side by side getting married, having children, growing old and gray. But I guess reality eventually will bite--I just didn't expect it to be this soon (although this is pretty late, by other people's standards). My big sister bone is definitely kicking in, in a major way. I know she'll survive--I have to give her credit for her newfound maturity in the six months we've been here--and time's going to fly by pretty fast (like it seems to do these days) and I'll see her again in no time. Wala lang. I can't help it. We've always been close (we don't have that typical she's-my-sister-I-hate-her relationship everyone else seems to have) and it's pretty much been just the two of us since...well, forever.

I know I'm going to get over it. I'll realize she's going to learn a lot without me constantly looking over her shoulder, she'll have newfound responsibility with the house back home and with my grandpa and all those things I used to both enjoy and dread. Heck, I'll have more closet space, haha. And it's not like we won't e-mail and YM and text and talk on the phone, right?

Besides, last night when I was moping in my room over this impending "loss" (oh, the melodrama!), I realized it was kind of selfish of me because in truth, I'm making this about me, and not her. I guess it's because all this time that I've been sad and lonely away from my friends, she's always been there to numb my pain, like it's not so bad cause she's here. And now she's leaving and I'll truly, genuinely be on my own. And I figured, if I really loved her like I say, I should be happy she's making her decision--let alone any decison--for once. Like, finally. That's been the whole point of this trip really--about teaching Anna to be her own person. Not someone's pretty marionette who bobs up and down with every pull of the string. And I'm happy with that, very happy.