Went to mass with my family yesterday after the longest time. It felt a little weird to be sitting there, trying to sing along to all the songs (new ones, nonetheless), responding in unison with everyone. Wala lang. I felt kind of...lost, I guess.
It's was probably a good thing the mass was, um, different (read:mabilis at masaya). You know how they say everything in America's on fast-forward--the food, the time, and yes, even church. The priest--he rocked, hehe. He delivered this nice, witty homily about how some people just can't help but think the world revolves around them. In the end, all they end up doing is compressing their worlds into something so small, it doesn't allow anybody in but themselves. People need people, even those who seem to not need anything more in life. I could just imagine what a sad, painful existence that must be, thinking you don't need anyone else.
Then at night my mom (who's very religious and very Catholic) and I got into a long conversation about religion. I never told her about my reservations about my own faith before, seeing how she's such a staunch follower. But I'm glad I was able to last night. We talked about what we liked and didn't like, about how it would be so nice to get a peek into how other religions worked. I for one would love to see how a Jewish service goes--it seems so much more solemn, more deeply-rooted. I'm glad my mom was on her usual Mama-mode--although she didn't like the fact that I haven't been going to church in a long while, she's supportive of my "exploratory" mood when it comes to my faith. After all, she says, what's important is that you believe--regardless of who or what.
It was sort of relieving to realize how free I've suddenly become to believe whatever I chose--God knows (no pun intended) how "boxed" I've become in 12 years of catholic school, where you're spoon-fed your faith and they expect you to just tough it up and keep it all in, like bad medicine to a kid (although I have to say I have nothing against sending kids to catholic school just to instill some sense of religious foundation). It's just nice to be able to explore different things freely. No, make that "to explore different things", period.
:p
It's was probably a good thing the mass was, um, different (read:mabilis at masaya). You know how they say everything in America's on fast-forward--the food, the time, and yes, even church. The priest--he rocked, hehe. He delivered this nice, witty homily about how some people just can't help but think the world revolves around them. In the end, all they end up doing is compressing their worlds into something so small, it doesn't allow anybody in but themselves. People need people, even those who seem to not need anything more in life. I could just imagine what a sad, painful existence that must be, thinking you don't need anyone else.
Then at night my mom (who's very religious and very Catholic) and I got into a long conversation about religion. I never told her about my reservations about my own faith before, seeing how she's such a staunch follower. But I'm glad I was able to last night. We talked about what we liked and didn't like, about how it would be so nice to get a peek into how other religions worked. I for one would love to see how a Jewish service goes--it seems so much more solemn, more deeply-rooted. I'm glad my mom was on her usual Mama-mode--although she didn't like the fact that I haven't been going to church in a long while, she's supportive of my "exploratory" mood when it comes to my faith. After all, she says, what's important is that you believe--regardless of who or what.
It was sort of relieving to realize how free I've suddenly become to believe whatever I chose--God knows (no pun intended) how "boxed" I've become in 12 years of catholic school, where you're spoon-fed your faith and they expect you to just tough it up and keep it all in, like bad medicine to a kid (although I have to say I have nothing against sending kids to catholic school just to instill some sense of religious foundation). It's just nice to be able to explore different things freely. No, make that "to explore different things", period.
:p
Labels: epiphanies
posted by anj at 7:43 AM
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