my white christmas

So the car kinda Scrooged on us up in Tahoe, and we spent 4 days up in the mountains instead of 3. So what? Ang happy!!!!

This holiday is honestly one of the best (if not the best) holidays I've ever had. The family's pretty much all here (well, except for Daddy, who decided to stay in Manila, and Luke, who's spending the holidays with his mom), it's freaking cold, super-white and very happy. We got pretty much everything we wished for--a good trip, snow fall, a great time snowboarding, everyone's happy, safe and healthy. That's all there is to it, right?

My body pretty much hurts all over (like I told Leni, even in places I didn't know I had, haha), and I feel like freaking Angelina Jolie because of windburn, but heck, I don't mind at all. I had soooooooo much fun, made a couple new friends (Riiiick! haha), basically had a blast with the family. And all those slips and slides down the mountains didn't deter my spirit a bit--in fact, I'm already saving up for another snowboarding trip--clothes, equipment, post-session chiropractor treatment and all--for next year. Can't wait!

It's a good decision I made, to stay here for the holidays. I missed my friends like crap but I got something in exchange, something I never probably would have gotten had I about-faced my way home to Manila. I think I'm starting to believe in Christmas again, like I did back when I was a young, naive, worry-free kid. I realized it's not about being all together, or complete or having every single gift on your wishlist--it's just about believing and allowing yourself to be happy despite all the potholes and hurdles. Sort of like counting your belssings. It's kind of hard to explain. Basta. You have to feel it to understand.

Merry Christmas, everyone! Happy New Year! :)

eksayted.

yipee, yipee, yipee!
i'm heading off to tahoe in a few hours and i can't wait! waaaaah.

*****

called some friends to greet them merry christmas. grabe, i almost forgot how they sounded like. 4 months pa lang naman, but it seems like eternity.

X--you made my day, promise. wahahaha.

*****

marie's coming over in a few days. i'm so psyched to spend new year with my favorite cousin.

so, cuz...shall we welcome the new year with fresh ink? hehehe.

*****

i know how we can all get too wrapped up in the festivities and the material things, but i just want to say, to everyone who gets to read this:

I hope this season brings you, brings all of us clarity. And peace.
Merry Christmas!

engggggk!

I remember this line celebrities used to say on this MTV (or was it VH1?) show called The Diary of...

"You think you know, but you have no idea."

I guess that's just my thought on the whole thing. Tsk tsk.

****

IMHO, God should have made an 11th commandment:

"Thou shalt not assume nor expect too much."

At sabi ng Spice Girls, "Too much of something is bad enough."
Kaya tama na ang *****. Wahaha.

just one of em' days.

So I'm up and blogging at 5:30 in the morning. Haven't woken up this early in a long time--I almost forgot how much I enjoy being the only person stirring about, and the silence and zen-ness of it all. Me, a bowl of cereal, coffee, thoughts about the day to come, nothing else--it's...well...empowering. Something like that.

(Too bad I'm supposed to be getting ready for work in uh, 2 minutes. Bitin.... :p)

LSS

Heard this song on Gossip Girl, and I just got hooked.

Parang ang fitting pa for um, recent circumstances...hehe...

It's too late to apologize....or is it? :p

pseudocide

Pseudocide. It's a new phenomenon. Seems the world's become so jaded that some people decide it's so much better to just disappear from the face of the Earth and start over with a new identity, than to just get on with their miserable lives. Tempting.....

*****

You know how it sometimes happens that you hear news that's supposed to surprise or even shock you, and the most it does is just confirm some sort of belief that's been at the back of your mind since...forever? What sucks is not hearing about the bad news but realizing it's just diffused that teeny-weeny glimmer of hope that some way, somehow, you're going to be proven wrong. It's kinda sad, thinking about it.

*****

Sometimes you never really get to know a person unless they decide to open themselves up to you. What seemed to be so honest, so true can all seem so trivial and for-show in an instant. Sometimes I wonder what the world would be like if everyone walked around with open hearts.
Just a thought.

*****

Mabilis ang karma, and it's such a huge bitch. Wag tuksuhin.....

kalokohan lang.

It's that time of the month again that permits me to be the moodiest, grumpiest and bitchiest I am capable of being. Felt like being a rebel today so I did, moping around the house in all-black, grunting one-line answers in a please-stop-bugging-me tone. I just figured that if they're going to treat me like the teenager that I am not, fine, I'll give them teenager if that's what they want.

Too bad for the nice good kick my conscience is very nicely bending ala Beckham into my head, screaming, "That's not helping, stupid!" Oh well.

Got myself a brand new addicting habit, thanks to Dax. Every morning for the past three days, the first thing I do after getting out of bed is to head to the living room and lie underneath the Christmas tree, let my mind wander in the illusion of twinkling lights. I'm heading to the mountains in a couple of weeks and I can't wait to do it under a big-ass pine tree in the snow, see what happens.

Yun lang. Wala ako sa mood to make sense eh. I just wanted to distract myself from all the grating voices swimming in my head (shuuuuut uuuuuuup!).

everyone has their days.

I picked up my sister from school this afternoon, and on the way home she turns to me and says, "I don't want to be anything when I grow up.", to which I could only muster a very confused, very disgruntled, "Why???"

"I just want to be myself."

All of a sudden I just wanted to be in her 6-year-old shoes, with nary a clue as to how difficult that specific task is to accomplish.

Then we get home and my mom wants to get a Christmas tree from the lot. So I ask, with all the glowing excitement of someone with a brand new instruction permit, if I can drive to the store which was about a couple of blocks away from the house.

"No....you don't know how it is to drive in a busy street."

Damn right I don't, which was the whole point of doing it--to learn. How the heck am I supposed to be a good driver when all I do is turn corners and do figure-eights at the church parking lot? Gah. I'm 25, not a fucking teenager. I know how it is to be protected and how it is to be let out vulnerable in a bad-ass world, and guess what? I chose the latter.

To wish to be a child again and to hate being treated like one in a span of three hours. That's a trip for you.

And if life couldn't be any bitchier today, I dropped a bowlful of my lunch on the floor and broke a string on my violin. And it's raining.

Oh well, everyone has their days. I guess mine's December 6th.