whew!

Just got home from my first day teaching Elementary Science at St. A's--yahoo! I definitely enjoyed the day, the kids are nice (although I did almost send one to the Office >:p), my co-workers are very supportive. Everything went on smoothly. I liked the atmosphere--it's waaay different from the College environment I was so used to, but it was nice in it's own quaint little way.

Should I start working on moving from my temp/on-call position to a permanent one? Hmmm...we'll see :)

hand me my pills, please.

Sick today, but no excuse. You have to grin and bear it, suck it all in when you're beginning the process of getting your act together--sniffles and all. But as usual, I had idle time to spare thinking about stuff that really does me nothing but senti moments and whatnot. Wala lang. I guess that's normal if you're just starting out and haven't really carved your whole life plans in stone yet. The "bad breakup syndrome" is upon us, once again. Hehe.

So maybe it's true what they say--you really have no idea what you have until you lose them. Like, of course you miss the good, of course, but you realize you also miss the things you didn't even like that much--so-and-so who used to really piss you off so bad everytime he/she did so-and-so back then. Labo, no? You miss the good and the bad--even the gross, the filth, the grime that's part of the whole shebang, just because the riot's not quite the riot without it/them.

I'm happy that it's all starting out good for me-- I don't wanna jinx it by saying great just yet-- but somehow I know subconsciously how it's never going to be the same kind of "great" that you once had or were part of. Nothing lasts forever, even when at a moment it seemed like it would. Not to sound ominous or pessimistic or something. But that's what's true and real. Right?

Wala lang. May sakit at sume-senti na naman. Tama na nga -_-

wala pa ring masyadong sense. pero mas happy.

time to cut the crap, anj.

i've decided to quit being the mopey-dopey loser whiner that i've been the past few days and well, do a Sting again ang start a brand new day.

marie's spending the holidays here. that's something to look forward to. tahoe. definitely something to be excited about. a new job perhaps (ayoko pang i-finalize, baka ma-jinx, although medyo yun na nga...heehee)? definitely something to be happy about. getting fit, losing weight. yahu.

come on world, bring it on. bring. it.

walang sense.

I feel kind of, I don't know--as if I'm floating on air, hovering above everyone and everything on Earth, a silent witness to goings-on in the Universe. My mind is teeming (and yes, teeming is indeed the perfect word) with thoughts and ideas and rants and memories, and yet no strength accompanies them that they may be somehow immortalized into words or images or something else.

I have tons to write about, rant about, rejoice about. Tons. But I'm in this deep hole again where I do nothing but think, remember and maybe somehow, die (or live?) a little everyday with this internal whatnot (I don't even have the guts to call it struggle or battle--far too dramatic words for something that is absolutely, well--nothing). However, I dug deep into this hole all by myself, so I guess there's no one to blame but me. No rants, no complaints, no feelings, no nothing. No sense at all, even.

-_-



*******************************

Promises are meant to be broken. Never put your heart in them; When you hear no one but yourself, it's time to shut up; No solution will ever be good enough when you're the problem.

fuggedabaudit.

"Forgive sounds good. Forget--I'm not sure I could..."
--I'm Not Ready to Make Nice, The Dixie Chicks

I wish it were that easy to stop thinking about things. To stop dwelling on matters that will never change, no matter how many millions of times you twist and turn and alter fragments of it in your mind.

Bakit ba natin mahilig pag-isipan ang mga bagay na mahirap isipin?

It's so easy to say, "Oh, it's nothing." Or, "It's not a big deal.", when in truth it's not "nothing"--it's EVERYTHING. And it's not "not a big deal"--it's the ONLY deal.

They say God gave man free will to do whatever he chose. I wish I could just choose to lock [this thought] up and throw away the key.

Tao lang.
*hangs head*

Lesson Learned.
Alicia Keys and John Mayer.
I like :)

enjoy: http://perezhilton.com/?p=8339

yun naman pala e...

"You want me to leave you alone?"

Mismo. Nadali mo. Thank God.

-_-

happy *hingal* halloweeeeen...*bagsak*...

The new camera I got for my birthday arrived literally 20 minutes before we were set to go to St. A's for Angel's Halloween Parade. Whew.

Ang saya! All the kids (and the faculty even) were dressed up in their costumes, with some very funny, very cute and very creative costumes (my personal favorites were the Blue Man group, the Ghostbusters, and Jacob as Elvis, haha). Angel was "Angelcat", her very own superhero. You should've seen these guys work it with their costumes--well, wouldn't you, with PSP's and iPod's at stake for prizes? And of course, the entire Halloween spirit. Who doesn't love Halloween? :)

Afterwards, we all headed off to the factory outlets for some "kiddie" trick-or-treating, and then downtown for the real thing, with the old Victorian houses decked up in their best Halloween decor. I have to admit, people here really put their efforts into one night of candy-giving. I loved that big Victorian house with the huge, sweeping cobwebbed staircase and where "The Devil" (complete with mechanical flapping wings) gave out handfuls of candy. I think me and Anna passed off for middle-schoolers (wahaha), and all these people were saying, "Oooh...look at those cute schoolgirls!" Hahaha.

Then there was the small incident of forgetting which street we parked the car, so at the end of the evening we were so exhausted from running all over downtown in search of it, but so amped up on sugar rush and Halloween-itis. Hehe. Definietely a great first authentic trick-or-treat experience for me (and Anna, as well), where we actually got to dress up and collect--no, amass--candy, as opposed to just waiting for our small nieces and nephews come knocking trick-or-treat at our door :)

Happy Halloween, everyone!

* http://wanjeloo.multiply.com for my pics :p