jino+bruce=hayyyyy...

Haynaku

I watched the UP-Ateneo game today with my sister and Leni. Needless to say, I spent a lousy 270 bucks to see the Maroons fall prey to the Eagles. On top of that, I now have a headache, throat so raw from screaming and probably and extra 5 pounds from my post-loss depression sugar binge. We lost. We couldn't come back, even after the lead went down to a measly four points. There was no outside shooting, and the team seemed to take second-chance points for granted. I don't even want to start with that "God-forsaken school in Katipunan"--exact words from my sister's prof, who incidentally is an Ateneo Law graduate. I hate streaks, especially when they're losing streaks. And I hate droughts, especially when it's been raining graces just a couple of weeks before. HOY, MAROONS!!! WAKE UP!!! ANO BAAAAAAAAAAAAA??????????????????? I just want to say that I don't intend to spend my last days in UP wondering how it might have been if my school was in the Finals--like I've been doing for the past 6 years.

Still...I HEART JINO FERRER. Haynaku.

The Ghost in the Theater

I saw the musical St. Louis Loves Dem Filipinos with Leni last night. On our way to the theater, she mentioned how that particular theater was rumored to be haunted by this ghost who, from time to time, was fond of making cameos in productions.

Well, there was a ghost alright. I saw it. But not in the way I expected to. I saw a ghost--my own ghost.

I loved the musical. I even consider it as one of the best I've seen and enjoyed, alongside Miss Saigon, which really wowed my brains out. It had a great storyline, wonderful melodies, a great cast, everything you would want in a musical. But most of all, I loved it for the fact that it touched me and awakened in me realizations that to me were almost lost, stuffed to rot in the back of my mind.

I could so relate to the lead character, Bulan. He was always poised for greatness, and just makes it his life's ultimate goal to do something great, something he'll be remembered for. So he goes and joins in the journey of his life, on the other side of the world he's accustomed to. He learns new things, sees new things--he's so fascinated by everything out in this great, big, new world. And so he takes the plunge and immerses himself in all that is new to him. At first to learn more, do more, be more--and after just to numb the pain of losing everything he held so dear. He carelessly goes about, making mistakes along the way, exposing himself to other people's judgements or misjudgements, falling for many traps. He almost gives up only to realize that it's never too late to rise from the fall--and that most of the time, we don't have to look very far to see what we search for.

I saw my ghost last night, and the ghosts of many others who, like me, forget that home is where the heart is. It' such a cliche, but so real at the same time--a lot like how love is. We search far and wide, plunging into unknown territories for that one shining moment that to us will define our lives ultimately. We forget that we're just passing through, as one song in the musical goes.

I am also thankful to have been reminded that sometimes we find genuine friendship and car where (or from whom) we hardly expect it. We've become so judgemental as persons that we hardly give that unfamiliar something the benefit of the doubt that everyone deserves. Although it is also important to note how at times, it is what (or who) we expect to receive such a treatment from that which denies us of it, as I was also reminded. It's a sad realization.

Overall, I'm thankful to be the person who does not run out of hope, like Bulan. It's something I hold on to so fiercely, and at times the only thing I have to hold on to. It's that which comforts me during my low days, and that which invites me to look forward to the good days.

Wishful Thinking 1

Drink wine, eat cheese, take pics of beautiful Tuscany.
Plant a smoocher on Sting--or Bono.
Play in a rock band.
Paint Dave Navarro's fingernails pink.
Adopt a puppy.
Get an "A" tattoo on my back.
Ride a bike.
Swim.
Take up a dare on open mic night.
Fall in love so hard.

Marathon

I tried to go into hibernation the past long weekend--tried being the operative word. I figured I needed time to think about a lot of things going on in my life. I should have known three days was too short a time to accomplish the incredible feat of putting my life into order. I really should take lessons from some people--like my friend Arlene. At 22, she's got a really good job as a mechanical engineer in some international company abroad, she's earning a lot and living the life, and she has this wonderful guy in her life that she's marrying come December 2006. Now if that's not organized, I don't know what it is. God. The realization just hit me--one of my dearest friends is getting married. Married! Don't get me wrong, I'm super happy for her to have found the love of her life (after many hits and misses), but there's this inescapable fear creeping up on me. The fear of being always the bridesmaid, never the bride. Oh God. I don't know, there's just something in there. It's not like Im on the prowl for a partner, I'm happy the way things are going in terms of my being single. And after a couple of well, attempts, I can say I'm okay being like this. Really. I guess it's more the realization that hey, I really am at a certain age now when I should be taking things more seriously, no more playing around. I really am an adult now and therefore should act like so. With me still being in school and living with my folks, and the absence of pressure to make it out on the real world my way, that kind of overshadows the reality that at this age, I really should get going with my own life. I could keep on whining and complaining about not having the freedom to do what I want, but oftentimes I forget that, well, I can do something about it. Jeesh. So maybe I should start now. On a lighter note, I went to the Office of Student Affairs this afternoon with Ivan, Foom and Sir O for an interview regarding the recognition of the Heritage Conservation Society--UP Chapter as a university-based organization. I've just been appointed Secretary (by God knows who) and I tagged along to offer support and answer to as many questions as I can just so the OSA personnel is impressed. Haha. After a few minutes, we were given the recognition and now we're officially an organization. It doesn't mean that I'm leaving my loyaties with AF--I will forever be loyal and commited to the organization that is so much a part of who I am. I guess I'm just being open to other options that would allow me to better myself. Plus it's a cause that I'm quite passionate for. Basta, I'm happy. It's almost August. Wow, time does fly so fast. And there's a lot of things going on this month. Aside from the usual school-related stuff, August also marks both my lola and my dad's birthdays and death anniversaries (August 2, 11, 16 and 21--gulo, noh?), Arkiweek (themed like Encantadia--sinong may pakana nito, ha?!), and of course, and AF Week (which I'm really excited for. Hopefully this is the best, asteeg-est one ever!). Birthday din ni Love and ni Leni, and my mom and stepdad's wedding annversary. Lord, if I had to spend money for every activity, I'd be broke even before the month actually starts! Lately I've been listening to this new band (new, at least to me) called The Spill Canvas, as recommended by a new friend. It usually takes me a while to acquire taste for a band I haven't heard of before, but this one I like. I especially like this song called The Tide. It speaks of how love is, at the same time, a hoax and completely real. Ah, my kind of song. Try it out--if you're into mellow, emo stuff, this just might be for you. It kind of inspired me to write poetry again after a long while, and I'm seriously thinking of taking up guitar (I'm so rusty now) so I can make music. Imagine that--make music! I'm also checking out PAWS--this animal welfare group. My sister and I are thinking about adopting a pet. There are a lot of unwanted ones out there, and we're so willing to care for them as our own. Wow, this has to be my longest post ever--and I haven't even started on that SONA that wasn't! Later.

motherfreaking authority

Gloria thought she could get away with it. Big mistake.

MLV thought she can strut her self-righteous ass any way she wanted. Bitchslap coming your way, bitch.

Now, if these UAAP referees think they're gonna get away with dumbass calls or non-calls versus my school, they're dead wrong. We're not called UP Fighting Maroons for nothing, you know.

Lintik lang ang walang ganti.

The Big T.G.I.W. (Thank God it's the Weekend)

It's been a long week for everyone--Daddy had to go to the hopital, Anna had several entrance exams to settle, I pretty much had to be on top of everthing (as usual), and then there's the MLV issue. If there's one thing that I'm most thankful for this week, it's the fact that everything worked itself out faster than you can say "uh-oh". Thank God. Daddy just got out of the hospital today; Anna got into the company she wanted; Bing, Richelle and Sir Alex took care of the MLV issue; the Execom got talking about stuff that mattered. And I'm still alive. Like I always say, there's nothing impossible when it comes to prayers, good communication and a couple of ice-cold brewskies. Haha. Last night was spent on a couple of San Mig Lights and lots of isaw, with a good number of both members and AFlicants at Sarah's, our usual Friday night hangout. It seemed as if everyone there felt like they deserved a break of some sort--away from the pressure of plates, exams and the little tricks life plays on you. I had fun, as I'm sure everyone else did. For a moment, age differences were bridged, social barriers broken, and a genuine spirit of friendship--family, almost-- was in the air. I was proud (as I always am) to be part of AF. As Jas and I would say, there is not one word that can sum up the organization--except maybe the word great, that is. Today's spent on rooting for the UP Fighting Maroons, with prayers that their winning streak goes on and on and on. Also, it's Daddy birthday, so that makes this day extra special. I know we had our differences not too long ago, and we still have some, but what's one day for a truce, right? Happy Birthday, Daddy! Tomorrow and Monday's probably going to be spent on reviewing for a removals exam, a quiz and thinking about everything else that I come back to come Tuesday. That's life.

Aynaku

This is what happens once good sleep has been interrupted. Lord.

Fuck You!!!!!

Bitchslapping. There ought to be some going around. For her at least.

Who's she? She who basks on more authority than she deserves, who loves to lord it over the lowly ones, who's so ancient that human rights wasn't even around when she was strutting her high-and-mighty ass all over Diliman.

She--our beloved College Secretary. MLV (Major Living V-yatch) Santos.

By the tone of what I've just stated, it isn't so hard to decipher how pissed I am.

"AF ba kayo?"

"I want all of these (pointing to our stuff) out of here. Now."

"Hindi kayo makapag-hintay."

"You are deliberately going against college regulations."

"This is not a good example for your fellow students."

"You do not have the right to congregate here."

"Please remove everything right now or I'll have it removed by them (referring to the maintenance people)."

"This will go in your records."

"I may use this as grounds not to give you a tambayan for the rest of the year."

"Wala namang ganyanan."

I must admit, we did have our misgivings. But did you have to treats us like stray dogs salivating over a piece of steak? I wouldn't even treat a dog like that. "Shoo, fly!" Ganon?!

Ano ba kami? Squatter na pilit isinisiksik ang sarili namin sa hindi namin pag-aari? We pay full tuition, dammit! And who are you to talk--bakit, ikaw ba ang may-ari ng building? Ha???

Tsaka teka lang. Anong ibig sabihin ng "deliberately going against college regulations"? Bakit, may nakalagay ba na bawal mag-grupo-grupo ang mga estudyante sa corridor? Bawal umupo sa upuang pera naman namin ang ipinangbili? Ha???

We didn't break any rules because in the first place, you didn't have any, you idiot!

And what's not a good example for other students? The fact that we decided to take matters in our own hands and exert our rights, due to your own inaction and disregard for the student body? Yun ba? That we were exercising our rights in what was supposed to be our home away from home?

Wala namang ganyanan? Diba mas may karapatan kaming gamitin ang mga salitang yan sayo? Ikaw...wala namang ganyanan.

Tsaka teka. Bakit ba lagi mong pinagtri-tripan si Manong Guard? Dahil guard lang siya, ganon, at ikaw ang diyos sa Arki? Or is it because he'll win popularity votes with the students hands down over you, you self-righteous pig?

Naniniwala akong ang tunay na dahilan kung bakit hindi umuunlad ang Pilipinas ay dahil sa mga taong katulad mo.

"I-explain mo sa kanila ha. Baka mamaya, barilin na lang akong bigla."

Damn right. Watch your back, bitch.

Pinoy Blonde, Shootout sa Kanto and Whatnot

Pinoy Blonde I saw Pinoy Blonde today. Wow. It's not just because it's a Peque Gallaga flick, and one that took him a decade to finally bring to the big screen. It's not even the 20 or so cameos by the industry's most illustrous thespians. Pinoy Blone is all about dry humor and quick-witted dialogue, seemingly LSD-induced visuals, great music and everuthing else in between. It's everything a typical Pinoy flick is...and is not. It's hard to put into words, you've got to see it. Nay, experience it. Fresh. That's what it is--a breath of fresh air in the musty, moldy, mildewy atmosphere of the Filipino movie industry. Thank God for films like these. Thank Gallaga I'm not about to lose hope in Pinoy cinema just yet.

"Wow. Tangina."--Conrad Cunanan

The Shootout

I have never, ever been exposed to even the slightest bit of scandal or violence in my 22 years of living in my neighborhood until today.

It was 11:30 am. I was having lunch with my Grandpa when we heard the sound of firecrackers--or at least we thought they were firecrackers--being ignited. They turned out to be bullets.

A shootout was happening in the middle of the road. Our road. Goodness gracious.

Resisting the urge to cower under the dinner table (besides, I've been planning since last night to go see Pinoy Blonde in SM), I peekd out the window to see what was going on, careful to keep my body shielded by the dining room wall.

Ang lolo kong pasaway, ayun, ang bilis. In a snap he was able to sneak away from me, open the gate and go usi with our neighbors.

I came to the gate, greeted by the sight of the dead body of a middle-aged male lying on his back on the cold pavement--smack in the middle of the street. Police, a SWAT team and a sea of usisero humanity surrounded him, peering and poking.

I don't want to go into the details of the whole incident. Basta, it was a sharp-shooter from the SWAT who did the deed (in fairness, moving target yun, naka-motorcycle). And all of it stems from the one thing that makes this world an ugly one.

Anger.

Nakakatawa pa ang mga kapitbahay ko. "Wala bang istasyon ng TV na darating? Baka ma-news yan!" Talaga naman.

"Vanity. My favorite sin." --Al Pacino, Devil's Advocate

And Whatnot

Belated happy birthday, Sir Alex! Painom ka naman!

Oi. Ang happy ko naman na madami na kaming aplikante sa AF. Sana lahat sila ok (kahit pusta ko na 17 lang ang papasa).

Pota. I'm craving pizza.

Paranoia

I believe that when you dream of something with such a passion, you will realize that dream one day. I also believe that if you think of something too much--even the bad stuff--it's going to happen.

If something just preoccupies your thoughts so much, it's about to manifest physically.

That's how it is with my grandpa. He's just so paranoid that he's going to be sick, or that he's going to have an attack anytime, it actually happens sometimes.

And I hate it every single time.

I can't really blame him. After all, if you're sick in almost every major part in your body, you are going to get a little nuts. The thing about it is that he's so paranoid about every single thing that it makes him even more sick than he already is! His paranoia is just eating at not just him but all of us!

Call me an insensitive, heartless little beeyatch. Call me crazy. Paranoid, even. Call me anything you want.

I worry about him too, you know. I do. But this is just so f*ckin' ridiculous!

Saint of the Impossible

An old friend sent me an e-mail today with the subject Saint of the Impossible. Attached was a jpeg of Saint Rita of Cassius, and a message saying that if I forwarded the message to 6 people within 36 hours, 2 of the things I wished for most would come true.

I rarely buy into these things--these chain e-mails that go about. I'm a self-proclaimed skeptic, I've seen it all before. But I might just buy into this one.

I've been going through some tough times lately, and impossible is exactly the word that would best describe the circumstances I've been in the past couple of months. Hindi mukha, no? But it's true. In fact, Ive just been dealt another blow just a few minutes ago.

I've decided to put my faith into something I don't usually bite into. But heck, what have I left to lose?

Ayoko namang maging makasarili. I know the country, the world is facing so much these days, and my troubles are probably mere trivialities compared to the rest of the world's. So I'm just taking it all in stride, acting as if nothing's wrong and being my usual sa'kin-na-lang-'to self. Ganun naman dapat minsan, diba? We should stop acting as if the planets revolve around us, and just because we're in so much shit, tama nang mag-whine ng mag-whine. Kaya tayo nagkakaganito as a society eh.

So I'm offering my woes to someone "higher" for the meantime. Sabi naman nila, with God, nothing is impossible. It wouldn't hurt to try. After all, I've tried and have been hurt over and over--what's another one?

I know I'm still standing up afterwards.

sportsfest3

sportsfest2

sportsfest1

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Lazy Sunday

I think Sundays are really meant for simply lazing around, lying around and whatnot. It's like your mind just automatically goes into hibernate mode once Sunday comes around.

(Kaya naman wala talagang tao on his/her right mind na papayag sa lintek na SUNDAY FUNDAY! Unless abnoy ka. Kahit si God nga, nagpahinga nung Sunday eh. Hmph.)

Sundays are all-around chillax moments. You don't have to get up early (unless by choice), no need to take a bath and dress up immediately (unless absolutely necessary), no need to go about your routine of a life in a stressed-out and frazzled state.

Too bad a Sunday is just, like all days, 24 hours long. And Sundays, unfortunately, are the fastest 24-hour periods ever. It could all be done in a blink of an eye. With a snap of the finger, it could be Monday already. *sigh*

With that said, I think I better get of my PC and start living my Sunday out, not wasting anymore time blogging (not that blogging's a waste of time). After all, it is MY Sunday and no one else's.

Later.

Wahahaha!

Wahahaha! May phone na ulit kami!!! Woohoo! Asus, kaya naman palang gawin ng dalawang araw, bakit pa sasabihing dalawang linggo! Ahmp. Nasayang lang ang pag-emote ko kanina at ang 26 pesos ko sa netopia.

Anyways. AF orientation na bukas--sana maraming pumunta. At lalong sana maraming mag-apply.

AF ROCKS!

What's Happening to Us?

Must be the "GloriaGate Scandal". Or the endless ranting from the Opposition. Or sheer boredom.

I don't know what the heck is going through your mind, but you--yes, you, who stole our phone line cable--I hope you get trampled on by the hundreds of "protesters" who didn't get their pay from Binay! ARGGHHHH!

Yup, for two weeks, we won't have a phone line, nor internet acces at home. Bummer.

It's a freaking phone line. What the heck do you need it for? Bunjee jumping?

And another thing I don't get is--why does it take two weeks to replace a freaking rope? WHY???

Oh well.

Guess my own ranting can't bring the cable back. I'm just glad there are places like Netopia that still allows me to check my mail and update my blog. Sabi pa sa akin nung nasa counter, "Swerte n'yo ma'am, may promo kami!" Yeah, right.

But at least there's one shining ray of hope left in my communication-less life. I got my passport! *does a little chicken dance* HOORAY for that!!!

There's still hope, after all.

Whim

Funny, I was about to zone out when this idea popped into my head. One of these days, I'm going to Manila just to take pictures. Yun lang. Anyone interested in joining me? :D

Ode to a Man I Barely Knew

My grandpa Manny (my mom's dad's brother) died four days ago. He left behind a wife, grandma Violy, and no kids. He was 60. He also left a note before he put a bullet in his head. I know--what the f*ck??? I never knew anyone who killed themselves, let alone in my family. God, it still creeps me out just thinking about it. Grandpa Manny seemed like the last person on Earth to do what he did--he was a funny guy, always cheerful, and he was just enjoying his retirement, going around the US and Europe. Jeesh. We never know, don't we? Well, grandpa, wherever you are, I hope you're happier in that life than you were in this one. Jeesh.

I Hate Bugs

I hate bugs. They're nasty, they bite, and they seem to have taken a liking to me these past couple of days. I can't wear shorts coz they've feasted on my legs--nasarapan siguro sa gingerbread-scented lotion ko! Arghhhh. And just when it's so hot pa--there's nothing more hellish than itch and sweltering heat combined. Then again...

I feel like the girl in that Crash Test Dummies video--the one who had birthmarks all over her body. Red marks nga lang yung sa akin. Para akong report card ng batang bobo--puro red.

Sorry for the stupid post. These spots are making me feel stupid kasi.

Arghhhh. I hate bugs!

Wow, ka-kulay ko yung font...