Happy.

Spent hours with Leni at Starbucks last night. Just talking. Talking about trivial things, talking about things that matter, talking about friends, about loves, about family---lahat na yata! I came home exhausted, yet happy, and unable to sleep---caffeine overdose. Flashback to the many nights we spent at Quezon Hall, with yosi, lumpia and bananacue, talking about how our day was and reliving old memories.

So much has changed since then, and yet it feels like we're still the same old people we were--if only a little older, a little bit more mature...a little bit wiser? Can't be too sure.

Life.

Didn't really feel like blogging today, but I wanted to update. Just posted a few pics from recent happenings in my life. Thanks to Leni, Les, Foomy and super-talented Roi for these. Mwahs...

A2 '99 (well...most of it) 

PIc na pang-brochure from Les (@ her B-day party) 

Arkitek Les, Lenibanana and moi... 

Nakainom ba tayo dito?!? 

The Beautiful Ones @ Homecoming : ) 

Sa'n ba ko nakatingin?! 

Richelle *sigh* (para kay Foom, kay Joel, kay James, kay Sir Neek...) 

Sting..umm...Sir Nick doing Sting pala : ) 

DO NOT DELAY @ the Haraya Evening of Music 

Questions.

Do I really want what I think I want?

Is it really meant for me?

Am I really meant for it?

Kailangan ba talagang may masaktan?

Should I stay or should I go?

Fickle.

I know myself well. I can make major decisions in a flash. I also know how the slightest hint of disappointment or disapproval can move me to reconsider--even if I felt that it was the right thing to do in the first place. It doesn't sound a bit flattering nor comforting, but yes, I can be a total doormat sometimes. It's the idea of things being easier if more people approved, as opposed to, say, just myself.

Just to be clear--this is not an invitation, ok?

It's not like I'm saying that I always fall victim to such instances. Sometimes I do, and sometimes I'm the admitted culprit. I guess it's just the idea of them versus me. And in this society, isn't it always the case that majority rules?

Ang hirap nang ganito.

Guilt.

It's hard enough having to make a difficult, possibly life-changing decison. Having to bulldoze someone's heart over with it is a completely different matter.

Why is it so damn hard to get things to go completely the way we want them to?

After figuring in a more than a couple of flop decisions-turned-mishaps, I promised myself never to do or say something that could possibly bring me back to that sore point in my life. But here I am again. Ironic--for someone who always wants to be on everyone's good side, I never fail to disappoint.

The eternal people-pleaser has become the perpetual disappointer.

And to think that just a few days ago, I was atop my high horse, congratulating myself for a job well done. Little did I know that I was all alone in my shining moment, hearing inaudible cheers from a crowd that wasn't even there.

Pity.

Ho-hum.

Another eventless (un-eventful?) day. Just hanging out here in the office, 700 bucks poorer--ang mahal ng sablay! Got my allowance from Daddy yesterday, so I finally have money for the beach trip. Foomy says we'll be getting sweldo soon--that's going to my Bora fund. Anna's planning the trip, but I'm just laying back--call me when we're actually going na. :p

Need to find a Filipiniana dress for the Graduation. Got the shoes already (thank God for 1st quarter sales!). I'm actually pretty excited now, after debating yesterday whether to go or not to go.

Beach na beach na ko. As in. Especially today, when it's just so freaking hot outside. Bakit ang tagal ng April 7, ha? BAKEEET?

Been thinking about it--I really, really gotta start saving up. It's pointless having a job and not having the money to show for it. Besides, plane fare's super expensive these days what with VAT and all that extra fees sh*t. Wonder how much I can save till Christmas? I'm thinking of spending my holidays in Napa, if my folks aren't planning on coming home. Guess that probably means not going shopping too much, staying at home often, etc. Am I up for the challenge? We'll see.

Ho-hum.

On the hammock. On a beach.

That's where I wish I was right now. Hay....

Been doing nothing much since my last day of Span 10. No, actually, been hanging out a lot pala. Oz-ing with Leni and Pia. Crosswords with the Big Bosses. Sarah's (on more occasions than I can count) with both old and new friends. Yup. Been busy, in fact, now that I think about it.

The reality of Graduation really is sinking in, with talks of sablais, rehearsals, etc. The thought of not marching actually did cross my mind a couple of times, until Bing, Aki and other people persuaded me to do it. Guess they're right--when else would I experience such a thing? Besides, I got around to thinking that if I'm not doing it for myself, I'm doing it for Mama. She deserves it, to say the least. So I'm trudging to SM in a couple of weeks to look at pretty little dresses and shoes (which I'll probably end up regretting wearing in the sweltering April heat of Graduation Day). For Mama.

But not after I soak up the UVs with AF friends! We're beach-ing at Lozzie's in Batangas a couple of weekends from now. Don't know why, for someone who knows absolutely nothing of swimming, I'm always excited at the thought of going to the beach and being in that much water. Must've fried my brain cells with all those summers spent trying to achieve the perfect tan. Hehe.

My brain isn't churning out much sense today, so off I go. Must be the tons of ice cream I ate this afternoon. Or the aftershock of all the bottles of San Mig Light I've consumed the past couple of weeks.

Whatever.

Fin.

Last Friday, I took my last Spanish exam--the last exam of my college life. It really didn't sink in until my professor said, "OK. Es todo. Adios...gracias." And then it did sink in. It's...over. College is finally over and done with. It was like a huge wave of relief washed over me. And then sadness. And then the need to celebrate. It felt weird. Nice and weird.

College graduation came in a bit overdue for me. The rare times I felt sad (or slightly ashamed) about it, I just told myself, "Think of it like you went to med school." And if that wasn't enough (which it always was), I'd turn to friends. Friends like Leni, Foom, Mikey, Michelle, Les, Mark Marcos, Noel, Rupert and Love--people who seemed to have the innate ability to instantly pick me up with stupid gut-straight one-liners about everything and anything under the sun.

Or the kids. My kids--Pat, Jik, Gegs, Kay, Jid, to name a few. Freshmen I used to boss around when I was a senior. People I now look to as honest-to-goodness friends.

ArkiForum. What can I say? Best damn org in the whole wide world. Something I never expected would have such a big part in my life. The oldies, the young ones, the alumni. Grabe. You guys gave me so much, if I could give back even just half--that would just be so sweet.

My awesome professors--who sometimes felt like they were out to get every single one of us. "Best person(s) for the job"? Sila yun, sobra.

HTC people (Sir O, Sir Jojo-fly, Lexi) who graciously took me in so I could catch the last bus to good things in life like old buildings, happy people, yummy cream puffs and lots of chismis (haha). Feels good to belong to the best studio lab in Arki.

My girls--The Six Deadly Sins (ako yung isa). Liv, Chuk, Yel, Leah, Seppy, Arlene. Never made me feel inferior to have been last in the race, not even once. And who, in fact, pumped up my ego too much at times (kasalanan ko bang ako lang ang artistic sa ating pito?). Love those girls.

Annabanana, who stuck by me like a Post-it to a PC. Best sister in the universe. Marie, who always made me feel like the astig older cousin everyone looked up to. Ninang Beautiful and Tito Rommel (mabuhay ang isko!), who were proud of me, no matter what. Daddy, who spoiled me and my friends. Mama Chola, best mom in the world, whose confidence in me was more than enough to motivate me to finish what I started.

At ikaw. You know who you are and what you meant. Still means, in fact.

Never meant for this to be a senti-sh*t post, but, really guys, THANKS.

WHEW!

Haraya Week was a blast! (Ilang beses ko ba kailangang ulitin?). Sooo much fun, sobra! I think it was the most fun I've had in weeks---months even. Had so much fun in Friday's Inauguration and Jamming (even though I was dog-tired and still had to go to a wedding the following day). It's weird, after all last week's festivities, the band's Arki celebrity all of a sudden--wehehe! Never thought I'd get the guts to rock out with all the faculty and UP VIPs watching last Friday (can you imagine me singing Wannabe and Knocking on Heaven's Door in front of Presidents Nemenzo and Roman, and Chancellor Cao? Sheer guts, I tell you. And a little bit of kapal ng mukha to boot!). In fairness, they didn't mind at all. In fact, dare I say that they enjoyed it--I did definitely catch a glimpse of Prof. Santos and Dean Luis dancing along). Sir Silvestre even gave me a pat on the back and whispered, "Rockstar ka pala ha!". In fairness, kinilig ako ng konti. Wehehe. Can't have enough praises for my DO NOT DELAY bandmates (Foom, Joel, James--love ya guys!).

Then we had the formal Inauguration, with ribbon-cutting, blessing, fireworks, buffet and all. It was super fun. I really felt so lucky to belong to a really cool College at that particular moment. Sure, sometimes we students feel that the admin's such a stickler for rules and etiquette--but man, they can be fun when they want to!

Though I know they won't get to read this, I'd still like to thank Dean Luis and Ma'am Santos for being such good sports, and for being the coolest administrators ever!

As usual, what Arki party would be complete without a few cases of San Miguel? 3 cases of Grande, to be exact, which we had to finish that night. It was a cool sight--Arki "youngsters", alumni and faculty hanging out, drinking and just laughing our brains out. Kelan susunod??? :D

Went home (with Foom, Leni and Sir Jojo in tow), drank some more, made weird analyses between Foom's snacks and his love dilemmas, and finally dozed off at around 4am. Woke up at around 11, took a shower, got ready for the 5pm wedding Anna and I were supposed to attend. Sarap ng food--and chocolate fountain rocks! Left at around 8, took a cab to UP and got there just in time to hear Errol's band play at the JPIA thingy. Went home, drank some more, got a little crazy with the digicam and slept at around 2am.

Now it's back to reality. People are busy again, thanks to the upcoming finals week. But I'm sure everyone feels that last week was such a nice break from the madness that is college life.

As for graduation...almost there... :D

PS
Posted pics (thanks Leni and supertalended Roi) in my Multiply. Puntahan nyo na lang--wanjeloo.multiply.com

ROCK AND ROLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Grabe. The HARAYA Night of Music was a blast. Kick-ass. It was suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuper fun! Tiring, sure, but it wa soooo worth it. Nothing beats the feeling of a crowd of all ages sing along with you and dance to your songs. Hanep talaga. I mean, how often do you get to celebrate 50 years of Arki? To see students and faculty jamming it up? To see everyone dancing their butts off? Ang saya diba? Never mind the sometimes sablay intros and the sometimes sintunado tunes. Basta ROCK AND ROLL!!!

Alhtough I must say it's kinda ironic having the time of my life just when my stay in Arki has reached its homestretch. Bittersweet.

It's kinda fun being known as the "house band" or "banda ng bayan". The guys are practically in every number, since no one else steps up to jam with the performers. Pero ang saya. I went to the office today welcomed with "Ang galing mo pala kumanta!", "Rocker ka pala eh!" etc. etc. from the staff. Talk about Rockstar Status (Leni! Natutupad na ang pangarap ko! Hehe). Kinda embarrassing, but flattering at the same time.

Tomorrow's another day, another gig. Ah. Basta music, ok lang kahit araw-araw.

To my bandmates Foom, Noel, James and Joel a.k.a. DO NOT DELAY: YOU GUYS ROCK!!!
At sa aming mga fans and groupies (feeling!): Hindi pa tayo tapos!!! Mwahahahahaha

Just dropping by...

What a week! Funny, it kinda whizzed by, so it's all just a huge blur to me, I can't even remember everything that happened. Basta, I know I went to more than a couple of meetings, went to a sit-in for PP 1017, made friends with the office photocopier, got freakin frustrated with those horrible malfunctions called HTC Lab PCs, and rehearsed with the band all day Saturday. In short, got super worked up and stressed out over tons of things. Hay. Such is life in Arki.

So I'm spending Sunday (my one and only rest day for the week) doing shirt designs for our AF walking ads--more work! Also got around checking my inbox (with a whopping 160+ new e-mails), blogging, and if my brain-drained noggin can still get around to doing it, solving puzzles like a true Stoner (I'm not talking illegal substances here, just for the record).

Then it's going to be hectic again starting tomorrow. I could picture my planner's March pages overflowing with work, work and more work. Heck, the least I could do is be happy about it right? I mean, there's like thousands of people who would kill just to be in my [employed] shoes.

So Monday's the Haraya opening, the certificate awarding and the Jobfair AF's in charge of--plus a meeting with the bosses. Tuesday, there's Span, and meeting with Arch 16 fieldtrip persons to give DPs. Wednesday is the Inauguration and the concert (which I'll both be hosting and playing in). Thursday's open to do extra work. Friday's the buffet thing (which the band has to play in...again!) and the big Homecoming. It's gonna be a blast, but I bet also equally (if not more) exhausting.

Konti na lang, graduation na!!!

On a lighter note, the prospect of beach hopping looks pretty promising. It's definitely a welcome break from all the hustle-bustle. Can't wait. :D

Another thing I can't wait for is my US vacation. Mama and I already talked about it a little and are in the way to finalizing departure dates and such. Finally.

Better get back to sleep now. Gotta catch up (yeah, even though it's like 3 in the afternoon).
The house is so quiet and I'm all alone in my room--Daddy's sleeping in his room and my sister's on a date...again! *ewww*

Later. And hope for good news :D